Not Love - Abuse ; Not Caring - Control Not Consent - Coercion

Love isn't abuse and control. Someone who loves does not beat, rape, dominate, or humiliate. The person who is raping, beating, or hurting his "partner" is doing so to control and degrade. Any professions of love were false, designed to keep the victim's guard down so the abuse will be more of a surprise.

Unfortunately, attitudes towards women also help perpetuate abuse. When a 30 year old goes with a 15 year old, that's considered sexual abuse. Unfortunately, the adult status of victims makes it hard for sexual (or other sorts of abuse) to be recognized outside of formal authority. Many people who would support a 15 year old pressured into sex with a 30 year old blame the victim once she becomes adult.

Adulthood does not protect against victimization. Rape, sexual assault, and domestic violence can occur at any age. There are people who prey on adults just the same as people who prey on kids. In most cases, these folks are NOT strangers, but people who create relationships for the purpose of victimization.

Unfortunately, about one in eight marriages can be described as sexually abusive. Rape does not have to involve physical force.

There can be no such thing as true consent when one seeks to gain sexual power over the other. There can be no such thing as consent when two people have vastly different capacities for vulnerability, knowledge, or social standing. In these cases, there can only be legal consent, but abusers always have power over their victims.

There is only one solution to such a problem - getting out. Unfortunately, due to Stockholm Syndrome, where a victim still has feelings for their perpetrator, this is hard. But with the help of existing family and friends, it is possible.