Sunday, September 30, 2007

Coach resigns after kissing 18 year old ex-student

Jeff Urban, a former track and football coach, resigned after admitting kissing an eighteen-year old student who used to be on the Union Grove High School (Wisconsin) track team. The incident was reported by a parent to the school district, which suspended him for 10 days. He's still the PE teacher for that district.

Because the student is over 18, no charges can be filed. In states like Texas and North Carolina, "abuse of trust" laws prohibit teachers from going after high school students of any age. Teacher- 18 year old student romantic relationships are inherently relationships with more power differences than a relationship between two consenting adults with the younger adult being 18. Perhaps the Wisconsin Legislature can require mandatory firing, if not a misdemeanor conviction, for sex with 18 and over students.

Kiss leads to resignation

Wednesday, September 26, 2007


Hello. My name is Brian. I'm a civil engineer currently living in Milwaukee, Wisconsin who turned 27 today. I hope to focus on what happens in sexually (and other types of abusive) relationships when victims are over (not under) legal age. These can be abusive boyfriend/girlfriend, spousal, teacher/student relationships. When there is a power difference in a sexual or otherwise romantic relationship, then consent is doubtful, and you have sexual (and other types of abuse), NOT a romantic relationship.

People rightfully focus on child sexual abuse, and with the Debra LaFave and Mary Kay Letourneau school scandals, have slowly figured out that teenage boys, as well as teenage girls can be sexually abused. However, that sexual abuse does not stop at 18, but simply changes form. Too many relationships between people of legal age are also victim-perp relationships. A predatory "relationship" between two 30 year old spouses is no different morally than a "relationship" between a 30 year old adult and a 15 year old teenager.

When a woman (or more rarely a man) who is legal age is pressured into sex (or other activities) with their partner, you have abuse not consent. This applies even when the partners are married to each other. The pain is there just as surely as if there was a victim under 18. Unfortunately, the law states that consent and absence of force equals a legal relationship, when a predator can use a combination of psychological and sexual abuse to ensnare his (or her) victim.

My focus will be on relationships (both sexual and otherwise) gone awry with people between legal age (usually 18) and 40, though if there is a story about sexual (or other types of assault or DV) featuring people over 40, I'll post that. Posts will range from domestic (or sexually motivated) murders to domestic/sexual violence to teacher-student sex where students are over the AOC.