Learning about exploitation from teacher-student sex

Teachers & Trash Education is a blog which deals with teacher/student sex (as well as other issues). A post, written today, explains how teachers who claim that they are in "love" with their students are really taking advantage of the student for their own ends. The blogger behind this wonderful resource has a quote that explains what teacher/student sex is really about:

"To exploit someone is to make use of him or her for one's own ends by playing on a weakness or vulnerability. Those with power have the inherent potential to exploit those without power. A manipulative educator can exploit a student's respect, innocence, naivete, need for affection, insecurity, or low self-concept." - Robert J. Shoop, "Sexual Exploitation in Schools: How to Spot It and Stop It." p 7

Exploitation does not occur solely with teacher/student sexual encounters, minors, fiduciary relationships, or with charges which can lead to a SO registry listing. It is not just teachers and pedophiles who manipulate someone's need for affection or someone who'll think they understand them. It is not just minors who are used then discarded. Intimate sexual exploitation occurs with adults as well. Power and control is also the issue on the other side of 18.

My father has an acquaintance, Hugo, who did just that. He has married literally a dozen times Christian women who believed in saving themselves for marriage. Since he could'nt get the goods without marrying, he married the women, had sex, then divorced 6 months to a year later. Hugo exploited the women's Christian beliefs, need for affection, and repect for marriage by using the women's Christian beliefs to gain sexual access, then run. Hugo's lack of morality vs. the women's morality is another power difference he used against them. Hugo is in his late 70s . He won't be charged with bigamy, statutory rape, or other crimes because he followed the letter of the law, but not the spirit.

That is because sexual exploitation of adults without force is not a crime under the usual conditions and those exploiters are smart enough to stay away from minors, drugs/alcohol, and/or force - a fact teachers who have sex with their students don't appreciate.

With teachers, even if the sentence is probation and a SO listing, that's still a criminal history. Parents can still look him up on the SO registry. He still has restrictions from kids. With all of the new restrictions, and Jessica's law, even I would stay away from kids without their parental supervision.

If an exploiter did the same thing to a 19 year old that would earn him (or her) a SO label if done to someone who is 15, there would be no (criminal) consequences, the exploiter could discard his victim for a new one, and as long as he stayed above 18, away from force, and away from drugs/alcohol, he has legal leeway to do as he wished with other young women (or men).

I encountered such a man back in late 2004, who chose street youths between 17 and 29. Convieniently, 17 is the AOC in Newburgh, NY, where he lived, and sexual relationships with over 17s made without force or a fiduciary relationship is legal. He always tried to guide the conversation to sex, and always told me how he was involved with males under 30 but over 17. I eventually stopped chatting with him.

With a professor and a college student, there are no laws against such conduct criminally, and the access and trust he has is nearly the same as with HS students. Only a sexual harassment lawsuit deters the professor. Romantic relationships and marriages are based partially on sexual access. Power differences don't just apply with adults and kids - they apply with more powerful and less powerful adults. An exploiter can get off scot free criminally if he uses the power differences among adults to keep the letter of our laws, but not the spirit.

This story is about a woman who exploited military men's need for attention and affection into bigamous relationships with five men. Without kids, force, drugs, or a fiduciary relationship, there is little chance for multiple years in prison. She will not face a listing on the SO registry, even though there is obvious sexual involvement. She has chosen her victims well.