legal sexual predation - a loophole in the law

With the focus surrounding sex offenders, sexually abusive teachers, and getting tough on the child sexual abuser, people need to be reminded that abuse doesn't stop at 18, and that there are sexual predators which will never target a child, but will solely target adults. Most of these predators will target women, and due to inadequate laws, will never be charged with any offense. Therefore, a woman can't check her local sex offender registry to see if he has a history of sexual assault or abuse. These perps will get away with it because of 1) the lack of physical force they will use, and 2) by only targeting victims past their 18th birthday.

Unfortunately, sexual predation does not stop at 18, or with legally chargeable rape. There are ways that a predator can legally prey on victims without causing legal consequences, but with devastating consequences to his (or less likely, her) victim. When such an event occurs, the lack of physical force coupled with the age of the victim will usually prevent formal criminal charges from occuring. There are different scenarios for sexual abuse of adults whose 18th birthday is in their past to occur without the threat of criminal charges.

One way to do this is through a combination of emotional/psychological abuse and sexual coercion. This may be done by calling the victim names like "bitch, slut, or frigid," until she submits to his sexual control. By destroying the victim's self-esteem, he makes her into a sexual object just as surely as a child molester or rapist does. The woman (or less likely, man) will then be under the thrall of a predator who has her where he wants her - under his control. There may be sex within the relationship, and she may say "Yes" 10 times, but in no way can the sex be anything other than coerced. There can not be true consent because the power difference the predator created prevents true consent in such a relationship.

A second method such a perpetrator may use is to create a situation where the victim (again over 18) becomes financially as well as emotionally dependant on him. It the predator does not allow the victim to work outside the house without abuse of any type, that's considered financial abuse. By preventing the victimized woman from earning her own money, he increases his power and control over her. She has to depend on him for all of her physical and much of her emotional needs, and if he's getting sexual favors out of the deal, he has just sexually abused her. There can be no true consent in this case either because her options are limited. This is another case where the law allows sexual abuse which leaves obvious damage.

A third method used by perpetrators is to isolate victims from their friends or family. The perp does this by telling his victim he's the only one who care about and loves her - then threatening her if she doesn't believe it. By isolation and threats, the perp makes himself the most powerful person in her life. Family members, especially parents, supportive friends, and others who are best able to help will be shut out because part of the perp's isolation includes telling the victim that her family isn't really there for her - or that they can't do anything about it.

A victim may recognize these situations and try and extract herself from it. Unfortunately, when she tries to go for help, she'll find out that as someone over 18, she won't usually be covered by statutory rape laws, and as someone who apparently consented to the sexual encounter, rape laws won't usually be applicable. So you have a person who is being victimized while her perpetrator goes scot-free.

The lack of incapacitation or physical force, coupled with the fact that the victim may have said "Yes" to the sexual encounter will label the coerced sex legal in the eyes of the law. Though pressured sex is highly immoral and degrading to the victim, without force or incapacitation, and with an over 18 victim, it is still legal sex.

The AOC protects people who are under it from sexual exploitation. However, in some cases, it can also act to mask acts which would be obviously sexual abuse if commited by an adult with a child or an under the AOC teenager. Attitudes towards women (as opposed to child) sexual assault victims, the idea that adults should be able to consent to, if not embrace sex, and the idea that a woman should submit to a man all contributes to the phenomenon of adult sexual coercion.

If a 30 year old man is with a 15 year old girl, society rightly sees that as sexual abuse. If a 30-year old woman is with a 15 year old boy, society is waking up to the fact that that's also sexual abuse. However, if two 30 year olds are in a sexual relationship, don't assume that the 30-30 pairing isn't sexual abuse. There could be power differences which makes the third pairing as unhealthy as the two previous examples. If the woman (or more rarely) the man had a history of domestic violence victimization, sexual abuse, or sexual assault, then the pairing between two 30 year olds may very well be a victim-offender pairing, and the dominant "partner" may be re-victimizing the submissive partner.

Since financial and non-physical abuse directed towards a partner is still domestic violence, the woman needs to recognize the situation and then FLEE as fast as she can before it turns into sexual abuse, physical DV, or worse. The dynamics shown above need to be taught about so more folks can know and take action to prevent further victimization.

In Milwaukee, Soujourner Truth House is a battered women's shelter which a female victim can flee to. Lovefraud is a website which is dedicated to detection and countering sociopaths (defined as those without consciences) in relationships.

Soujourner Truth House

Lovefraud