Army Specialist Menkaura Moss, 22, was sentenced to 60 years in prison, though eligible for parole in 20, for raping two woman and sexually assaulting a 3rd. A fourth victim, Samantha Tejeda, was attacked in her home and struggled with Moss until he was scared off. He took her bank card and used it to pay online bills and for online taxes. The attacks were solved by tracking Tejeda's stolen bank card.
Tejeda said the assault has left her fearful. “I’ll never trust — I’ll always be looking over my shoulder,” she said in court.
The attacks took place between New Years Eve and March. Three attacks took place at Moss' apartment complex, and the final attack plus 2 burglaries took place at a housing area near Ft. Benning, Georgia, where Moss was undergoing training.
All attacks occurred while Moss was looking for something to steal from other apartments. When he found a woman sleeping in the apartment which he burglarized, he pounced. His first attack was on a female Air Force airman on December 31st. He climbed through an open window to steal her purse, then made the woman commit sex acts.
According to the Fayettteville Observer:
The next assault was another of Moss’ neighbors, on Jan. 28. Again, while looking for something to steal, Moss broke into the apartment of an Army wife whose husband was deployed to Iraq. Her door was unlocked, Moss said.
The woman was sleeping on an air mattress in the living room with her 18-month-old daughter. The woman testified that she awoke to find Moss pulling her shirt over her head. She struggled. The child awoke and started crying. The woman said she did what Moss wanted, because she feared for their lives. “I just wanted us to make it through,” she said.
It is the policy of The Fayetteville Observer not to publish the names of victims of sexual assualt.
Moss raped her, forced her to perform sex acts on him and raped her again, she said. During the assault, she said, her crying daughter tried to stay by her.
Eventually, Moss ran out of the house with her purse. The woman said her husband returned from Iraq on 10-day emergency leave. She moved back home to the Midwest.
The attack strained her marriage, she said. On Feb. 22, she said, her husband called from Iraq and accused her of making it up.
Tejeda was attacked by Moss on February 15th. It took 10 days before he struck again. The Observer article reads:
On Feb. 25 at Fort Benning, Moss said, he once again went to a housing area near his barracks to steal. He discovered an unlocked back door, sneaked inside and found a young woman who had gotten up because she heard a noise. The woman, who was from out of town and was visiting her husband, had started dialing 911 on her cell phone when Moss found her. Her husband and his roommates were away at training.
She testified that she screamed and ran to the front door, but Moss grabbed her from behind. She and Moss described an intense struggle. She head-butted him and hit him. He hit her, slammed her head on the floor and choked her. She said she blacked out several times.
Moss said he forced her to perform sex acts and raped her. The woman said she now lives in fear and can’t stand to be by herself; when her husband is away, she goes to public places because she is too frightened to stay home alone.
Her husband, a West Point graduate, put his military career on hold to take care of her after the rape, she said. The couple testified that they were high school sweethearts and virgins when they married.
“We waited until marriage thinking it was something so special, and he took it! He took it!” the husband said.
The man said he still feels guilty because he had accidentally left the back door unlocked earlier that day. Moss told Parrish that he broke into two more unlocked homes at Fort Benning between Feb. 15 and March 16. He stole two laptops, a camera and a digital music player, he said.
Tejeda, Major Sara Root, and the judge, Col. Patrick Parrish, all believed that Moss should be sentenced to life in prison, but plea agreements take priority in the military system, and left Parrish with no choice but to impose the 60 year sentences (Brian's ed. - or 20 years with 40 years parole). Moss was also demoted to private and received a dishonorable discharge, with loss of all pay and benefits.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Thursday, November 15, 2007
School nurse charged with sexual assault, providing alcohol to minors
Jennifer Cisco, 30, a school nurse at Green Forest High School in Carroll County, Arkansas, has been arrested and charged with 1st degree sexual assault and furnishing alcohol to a minor. She was investigated after a school resource officer heard rumors about the situation with the two 17 year old alleged victims. Arkansas' age of consent is normally 16, but does not apply to school employees and students in their schools. Cisco admitted to having sex with a student on two occasions and purchasing alcohol two students. It isn't known whether the alleged victim of the sexual encounter was furnished alcohol.
Reference:
School Nurse Faces Charges Involving Students
Reference:
School Nurse Faces Charges Involving Students
San Antonio officer allegedly rapes victim
A woman has accused a San Antonio police officer of sexual assault. The allegation was made early Sunday morning.
"That information was given to our sex crimes detectives as they were taking the report," explained San Antonio Police Department spokesman Sgt. Gabe Trevino. "Our internal affairs unit was involved, and we immediately started an investigation into the allegations."
The accused officer has not been arrested. Because of that, police officials are not releasing any details about who he is or his history with the department. However, they did say they are taking the allegations seriously.
"The officer who she's identified has been placed on administrative duty pending the outcome of the criminal and or the administrative investigation," said Sgt. Trevino.
The San Antonio Police Department did not say how the accused officer met the alleged rape victim, but she went to the hospital after the attack. This isn't the first time this year that a woman alleged a SA police officer raped her. Former officer Ruben Saenz is currently serving time for rape of a woman at her home two years ago, but is scheduled to be released Saturday (11-17). Saenz had been disciplined for offences like pornography on the job and racing before the rape. The victim, allegedly pulled over for drunk driving, was followed home by Saenz, who then attacked her. Her attorney has filed a lawsuit against him, the police chief, as well as the City Of San Antonio. The civil trial is expected to start early next year.
Reference:
Police Officer Accused Of Sexual Assault
"That information was given to our sex crimes detectives as they were taking the report," explained San Antonio Police Department spokesman Sgt. Gabe Trevino. "Our internal affairs unit was involved, and we immediately started an investigation into the allegations."
The accused officer has not been arrested. Because of that, police officials are not releasing any details about who he is or his history with the department. However, they did say they are taking the allegations seriously.
"The officer who she's identified has been placed on administrative duty pending the outcome of the criminal and or the administrative investigation," said Sgt. Trevino.
The San Antonio Police Department did not say how the accused officer met the alleged rape victim, but she went to the hospital after the attack. This isn't the first time this year that a woman alleged a SA police officer raped her. Former officer Ruben Saenz is currently serving time for rape of a woman at her home two years ago, but is scheduled to be released Saturday (11-17). Saenz had been disciplined for offences like pornography on the job and racing before the rape. The victim, allegedly pulled over for drunk driving, was followed home by Saenz, who then attacked her. Her attorney has filed a lawsuit against him, the police chief, as well as the City Of San Antonio. The civil trial is expected to start early next year.
Reference:
Police Officer Accused Of Sexual Assault
Inappropriate touching by cabbie = assault charges
This story taken from the Toronto Star:
A taxi driver faces sexual assault charges after a Richmond Hill woman complained that she had been touched inappropriately.
The 45-year-old woman called a York Region Transit Mobility Plus taxi to pick her up from her home on Oct. 30. It was while he was in the taxi that the woman alleges she was assaulted. She was not hurt and reported the incident to York police shortly afterward.
Charged is Mohamed Naleeye, 54, of Toronto, who was arrested today.
Anyone with information is asked to call Detective Cindy Laidlaw in the Sexual Assault Bureau at 1-866-867-5423 ext. 7071 or Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS. An anonymous tip can be left online at www.1800222tip.com.
Reference:
Woman assaulted, taxi driver charged
A taxi driver faces sexual assault charges after a Richmond Hill woman complained that she had been touched inappropriately.
The 45-year-old woman called a York Region Transit Mobility Plus taxi to pick her up from her home on Oct. 30. It was while he was in the taxi that the woman alleges she was assaulted. She was not hurt and reported the incident to York police shortly afterward.
Charged is Mohamed Naleeye, 54, of Toronto, who was arrested today.
Anyone with information is asked to call Detective Cindy Laidlaw in the Sexual Assault Bureau at 1-866-867-5423 ext. 7071 or Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS. An anonymous tip can be left online at www.1800222tip.com.
Reference:
Woman assaulted, taxi driver charged
Suburban Toronto teacher charged with explicit chats with student
Dina Calautti, 35, a Grade 11 teacher from Missassauga, was charged with sexual assault, internet luring, and two counts of sexual exploitation. She allegedly engaged in explicit online chats with a 16 year old male student, as well as leg touching at school, according to Peel Regional Police. Calautti is a social studies teacher at Notre Dame Secondary School in Brampton, but is currently suspended with pay. Brampton & Missassauga are both suburbs of Toronto.
According to the Toronto Star,
These allegations are disturbing," said Bruce Campbell, spokesperson for the Dufferin-Peel Catholic District School Board. "But we don't know anything more than what the police told us and we are co-operating fully."
Calautti is scheduled to make her first appearance in a Brampton court on Dec. 17.
According to a website where students rate their teachers, Caulutti is a popular teacher at Notre Dame.
Contributors to the site ratemyteachers.ca describe her as being "awesome,” “funny,” “sweet,” “pretty” and “smart." One submission calls her "the greatest teacher in the world."
The AOC in Canada is 14, but rises to 18 when the alleged abuse victim is in a position of trust. What's disturbing is that if Calautti wasn't a teacher, such conversations would be legal. Where I'm from, the AOC is 18.
Update (11-17-07):
The alleged teenage victim is talking with Toronto reporters and says that Calautti did not engage in any sexual contact with him. He says that Calautti comforted him after he broke up with his girlfriend.
"She did nothing wrong. She helped me get over my ex-girlfriend," said the Grade 11 student, who can't be named. "She did nothing to me. All we did was talk. Our conversations weren't sexually explicit. She never touched me. Police have taken this way, way too far. When they told me she was going to be charged, I was speechless."
Reference:
Teacher Charged With Sexual Offences
According to the Toronto Star,
These allegations are disturbing," said Bruce Campbell, spokesperson for the Dufferin-Peel Catholic District School Board. "But we don't know anything more than what the police told us and we are co-operating fully."
Calautti is scheduled to make her first appearance in a Brampton court on Dec. 17.
According to a website where students rate their teachers, Caulutti is a popular teacher at Notre Dame.
Contributors to the site ratemyteachers.ca describe her as being "awesome,” “funny,” “sweet,” “pretty” and “smart." One submission calls her "the greatest teacher in the world."
The AOC in Canada is 14, but rises to 18 when the alleged abuse victim is in a position of trust. What's disturbing is that if Calautti wasn't a teacher, such conversations would be legal. Where I'm from, the AOC is 18.
Update (11-17-07):
The alleged teenage victim is talking with Toronto reporters and says that Calautti did not engage in any sexual contact with him. He says that Calautti comforted him after he broke up with his girlfriend.
"She did nothing wrong. She helped me get over my ex-girlfriend," said the Grade 11 student, who can't be named. "She did nothing to me. All we did was talk. Our conversations weren't sexually explicit. She never touched me. Police have taken this way, way too far. When they told me she was going to be charged, I was speechless."
Reference:
Teacher Charged With Sexual Offences
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Truethought, criminal thinking, and sexual abuse
Truethought is an organization which sells workbooks to criminal justice agencies and individuals on the premise that criminal thinking errors are not only present in criminals, but present in people who do not break the law, but have problems in other areas of their lives. Criminal Thinking Errors, used by Dr. Stanton Samenow to understand why imprisoned convicts show less progress in mental health groups in others, are patterns of thinking which enable criminals to justify their actions. Two Beloit, WI therapists, Ron Fawcett and Dave Koerner, reduced the 50 thinking errors to 10 categories of errors, and expanded the application beyound the criminal justice system. Fawcett and Koerner noticed that thinking errors also apply to law-abiding, but irresponsible and manipulative people. The name was changed from Criminal to Corrective Thinking in response.
The Truethought books go by the premise that there is a continuum of thinking from responsible to irresponsible to “arrestable” to “extreme” criminal. Extreme criminals show a variety of thinking errors which they use to justify felon criminality.
The sole difference between the irresponsible thinker and the criminal thinker, according to Truethought, is boundaries. Extreme criminals have no boundaries, but will do what they want. Arrestable criminals recognize prison as a boundary, and irresponsible non-criminals will not cross the line separating him (or her) from jail, but all can wreak havoc within their “comfort” levels.
Truethought’s premise is that in non-criminal situations, and in personal/professional lives (if any), there is no difference between the criminal and the irresponsible thinker except frequency of excuses for not taking responsibility.
So, when the Truethought worldview is applied to sexually relationships, one can easily see similarities between dysfunctional adult “relationships” and teacher/student sex – because the same thought processes operate in criminals and irresponsible people, but to different extents. An “extreme” criminal will sexually abuse a 10-year old boy and call it a “relationship,” and an “arrestable” criminal will deal with people who are barely under the AOC. An irresponsible person will never target those under 18, but manipulate someone over 18 into a “relationship” which only suits his or her needs.
The implications for sexually exploitative relationships go like this: Since the same dynamics exist in the manipulative partner and the sexual abuser, a manipulative relationship should run on the same dynamics and be based on the same motives at the molester of teens. Therefore, 30 & 14 and a manipulative 30 & 28 are not as far off as people think. It also means that insights into the former may provide insights into the latter.
The implication for parents is that not only should their minor kids be watched, but that with half of 20-somethings living at home, to watch their young adult's friends and partners very closely even after they graduate from college. If there is a 1 in 4 chance of your grown child being perpertrated on, then there needs to be an extra pair (or 2 pairs of) eyes watching the relationship. Your child may be in their 20s or even 30s, but you have been there 20 to 30 years longer, and you know that there are predators who target adults, particularly adult females. A watchful parent can spot an abusive partner before he (or she) gets to their grown, but inexperienced child.
The Truethought books go by the premise that there is a continuum of thinking from responsible to irresponsible to “arrestable” to “extreme” criminal. Extreme criminals show a variety of thinking errors which they use to justify felon criminality.
The sole difference between the irresponsible thinker and the criminal thinker, according to Truethought, is boundaries. Extreme criminals have no boundaries, but will do what they want. Arrestable criminals recognize prison as a boundary, and irresponsible non-criminals will not cross the line separating him (or her) from jail, but all can wreak havoc within their “comfort” levels.
Truethought’s premise is that in non-criminal situations, and in personal/professional lives (if any), there is no difference between the criminal and the irresponsible thinker except frequency of excuses for not taking responsibility.
So, when the Truethought worldview is applied to sexually relationships, one can easily see similarities between dysfunctional adult “relationships” and teacher/student sex – because the same thought processes operate in criminals and irresponsible people, but to different extents. An “extreme” criminal will sexually abuse a 10-year old boy and call it a “relationship,” and an “arrestable” criminal will deal with people who are barely under the AOC. An irresponsible person will never target those under 18, but manipulate someone over 18 into a “relationship” which only suits his or her needs.
The implications for sexually exploitative relationships go like this: Since the same dynamics exist in the manipulative partner and the sexual abuser, a manipulative relationship should run on the same dynamics and be based on the same motives at the molester of teens. Therefore, 30 & 14 and a manipulative 30 & 28 are not as far off as people think. It also means that insights into the former may provide insights into the latter.
The implication for parents is that not only should their minor kids be watched, but that with half of 20-somethings living at home, to watch their young adult's friends and partners very closely even after they graduate from college. If there is a 1 in 4 chance of your grown child being perpertrated on, then there needs to be an extra pair (or 2 pairs of) eyes watching the relationship. Your child may be in their 20s or even 30s, but you have been there 20 to 30 years longer, and you know that there are predators who target adults, particularly adult females. A watchful parent can spot an abusive partner before he (or she) gets to their grown, but inexperienced child.
18 year old woman raped on VA island
An 18 year old woman was allegedly raped by a similar aged male suspect in Virginia
The incident happened in a mobile home in one of Chincoteague's mobile home parks, but the victim, who is not an island resident, couldn't positively identify the location, said State Trooper B.E. Lewis on Friday.
According to the Salisbury, MD Daily Times,
The man is described as a white male between the ages of 15 and 20 years old, with brown eyes and short brown hair. He is about 5 feet, 10 inches tall and 150 pounds.
Lewis said he has a possible first name of Jason or Justin. "We're trying to find out who this guy is," said Lewis, adding that he wasn't being charged at this time.
"This guy is just wanted for questioning," he said. "We know it happened here in a trailer park."
The victim, who is 18, was with a friend on the island. She reported the assault on Wednesday and had medical tests performed, Lewis said.
A State Police computerized composite was prepared using the man's facial features, he said.
People with information about the man's identity or location are asked to call 800-582-8350 or 757-787-5813.
The incident happened in a mobile home in one of Chincoteague's mobile home parks, but the victim, who is not an island resident, couldn't positively identify the location, said State Trooper B.E. Lewis on Friday.
According to the Salisbury, MD Daily Times,
The man is described as a white male between the ages of 15 and 20 years old, with brown eyes and short brown hair. He is about 5 feet, 10 inches tall and 150 pounds.
Lewis said he has a possible first name of Jason or Justin. "We're trying to find out who this guy is," said Lewis, adding that he wasn't being charged at this time.
"This guy is just wanted for questioning," he said. "We know it happened here in a trailer park."
The victim, who is 18, was with a friend on the island. She reported the assault on Wednesday and had medical tests performed, Lewis said.
A State Police computerized composite was prepared using the man's facial features, he said.
People with information about the man's identity or location are asked to call 800-582-8350 or 757-787-5813.
Source:
Man Wanted For Questioning After Alleged VA Rape
Band director faces misdemeanor only for relationship with 16 year old student
The band director of Marshall County High School in Benton has pleaded not guilty to charges that he encouraged a teenage girl to disobey her parents. The charge of unlawful transaction with a minor is a misdemeanor, but state police say it stems from what investigators believe was a sexual relationship between Michael Colvett and the 16-year-old student. Colvett entered a not guilty plea through his attorney.
The Marshall County prosecutor has previously said consensual sex between a teacher and a student at least 16 years old is not a crime in Kentucky, but encouraging the girl to disobey her parents is. A pretrial conference on the misdemeanor charge is scheduled for Dec. 14.
Reference:
Prosecutor: Teacher studnt sex not illegal
The Marshall County prosecutor has previously said consensual sex between a teacher and a student at least 16 years old is not a crime in Kentucky, but encouraging the girl to disobey her parents is. A pretrial conference on the misdemeanor charge is scheduled for Dec. 14.
Reference:
Prosecutor: Teacher studnt sex not illegal
Sexual autonomy, the missing piece of sexual consent
I've been reading Unwanted Sex - The Culture Of Intimidation and the Failure Of Law by
Stephen Schulhofer, about sexual coercion, sexual harassment, and sexual autonomy. It was published back in 2000, but it's still recommended reading for people interested in the subject.
He argues that laws don't protect women against sexual assault because consent is defined wrongly, and consent is defined wrong because the concept of sexual autonomy has been left out of the definition of consent. Sexual autonomy is the idea that two people are free agents when it comes to sexual contacts and there are no entanglements which would prohibit one from exercising their full rights in the sexual relationship. Schulhofer argues that sexual assault and abuse should be redefined to take into account that in some situations, seemingly free agents in sexual relationships may not be truly free agents, and to consider it a form of sex assault.
This world view was pioneered by Catharine McKinnon in the 70s and 80s, and led to the adoption of sexual harassment policies and civil remedies. McKinnon's anti-porn stance, summed up in layman (or laywoman's) terms as "adult porn is to women what child porn is to kids," caused major divisions among feminists back in the 1980s. McKinnon introduced the concept of power differences in boss/subordinate relationships, and in 2005, with Women's Bodies - Men's Laws states that power differences can make an ostenably equal pairing unequal.
In short, sexual abuse and assault isn't just a lack of consent, but the lack of ability to consent. The lack of ability to consent is what makes teacher student sex criminal, and sexualization of fiduciary relationships unethical. Whenever there is an "offer" of sexual activity by a boss, sexual harassment, coercion, and even assault is present, depending on the other dynamics present in the encounter.
Without autonomy, there can never be true consent, and without consent, there is only sexual coercion of some sort. Instead of “consensual” and “non-consensual” sex, perhaps sexual relationships should be classified into "coerced" and "non-coerced," or perhaps “autonomous” and “non-autonomous.” There are plenty of legal relationships which are not autonomous, including bosses and subordinates in the workplace, lawyers and clients, and doctors and patients. Of course, all of these people can be sued for sexual harassment and malpractice, and a jury would probably believe the victim, but in most states, the perpetrators are not criminally liable. Teacher/student and therapist/patient sex are the exceptions, with criminal liability and a Sex Offender Registry entry in the criminal's future if convicted.
Power differences stemming from different victimization status are also a factor in determining if a sexual relationship is autonomous or if there are outside forces "compelling " sexual contact. Some traumas prime victims for revictimization. Sexual re-victimization is much higher for CSA or sexual assault victims than other victims. In Bobbie Rosencrans' book "The Last Secret," 62% of the CSA victims studied were revictimized as adults. In many cases, CSA or DV survivors are in relationships which more closely resemble adult/child sex rather than healthy adult/adult sex.
These differences may well make a legal sexual pairing a form of sexual abuse. Take the case of Jim and Katie. Both are in their late 20s, but Katie has a history of domestic violence and sexual abuse. She lives with Jim because the homeless shelters are her only other options. If Jim demands sex from Katie and she submits, it's legal because both are over 18 and there is no coercion in the legal sense, but Katie is not sexually autonomous. Katie is having sex with Jim so she can have a roof over her head. Autonomous people do not do this - desperate people do. Jim is taking advantage of her, and making her his victim. Katie does not truly have the ability to consent to the sexual relationship with Jim.
Stephen Schulhofer, about sexual coercion, sexual harassment, and sexual autonomy. It was published back in 2000, but it's still recommended reading for people interested in the subject.
He argues that laws don't protect women against sexual assault because consent is defined wrongly, and consent is defined wrong because the concept of sexual autonomy has been left out of the definition of consent. Sexual autonomy is the idea that two people are free agents when it comes to sexual contacts and there are no entanglements which would prohibit one from exercising their full rights in the sexual relationship. Schulhofer argues that sexual assault and abuse should be redefined to take into account that in some situations, seemingly free agents in sexual relationships may not be truly free agents, and to consider it a form of sex assault.
This world view was pioneered by Catharine McKinnon in the 70s and 80s, and led to the adoption of sexual harassment policies and civil remedies. McKinnon's anti-porn stance, summed up in layman (or laywoman's) terms as "adult porn is to women what child porn is to kids," caused major divisions among feminists back in the 1980s. McKinnon introduced the concept of power differences in boss/subordinate relationships, and in 2005, with Women's Bodies - Men's Laws states that power differences can make an ostenably equal pairing unequal.
In short, sexual abuse and assault isn't just a lack of consent, but the lack of ability to consent. The lack of ability to consent is what makes teacher student sex criminal, and sexualization of fiduciary relationships unethical. Whenever there is an "offer" of sexual activity by a boss, sexual harassment, coercion, and even assault is present, depending on the other dynamics present in the encounter.
Without autonomy, there can never be true consent, and without consent, there is only sexual coercion of some sort. Instead of “consensual” and “non-consensual” sex, perhaps sexual relationships should be classified into "coerced" and "non-coerced," or perhaps “autonomous” and “non-autonomous.” There are plenty of legal relationships which are not autonomous, including bosses and subordinates in the workplace, lawyers and clients, and doctors and patients. Of course, all of these people can be sued for sexual harassment and malpractice, and a jury would probably believe the victim, but in most states, the perpetrators are not criminally liable. Teacher/student and therapist/patient sex are the exceptions, with criminal liability and a Sex Offender Registry entry in the criminal's future if convicted.
Power differences stemming from different victimization status are also a factor in determining if a sexual relationship is autonomous or if there are outside forces "compelling " sexual contact. Some traumas prime victims for revictimization. Sexual re-victimization is much higher for CSA or sexual assault victims than other victims. In Bobbie Rosencrans' book "The Last Secret," 62% of the CSA victims studied were revictimized as adults. In many cases, CSA or DV survivors are in relationships which more closely resemble adult/child sex rather than healthy adult/adult sex.
These differences may well make a legal sexual pairing a form of sexual abuse. Take the case of Jim and Katie. Both are in their late 20s, but Katie has a history of domestic violence and sexual abuse. She lives with Jim because the homeless shelters are her only other options. If Jim demands sex from Katie and she submits, it's legal because both are over 18 and there is no coercion in the legal sense, but Katie is not sexually autonomous. Katie is having sex with Jim so she can have a roof over her head. Autonomous people do not do this - desperate people do. Jim is taking advantage of her, and making her his victim. Katie does not truly have the ability to consent to the sexual relationship with Jim.
Woman afraid of husband
Today's Dear Abby column is about a woman who is afraid of her husband because of numerous addictions and acts of domestic abuse. Domestic abuse is more that physical abuse - it's mental, financial, emotional, and even sexual abuse. The saving grace is that she has suportive parents who can help her out of this situation. Parents need to help protect their kids from harm even after 18, graduation from college, or moving out.
DEAR ABBY: I am in an eight-year marriage that feels like a prison sentence. I have two children under the age of 5, and a husband who is mentally and emotionally unstable and has severe addiction to prescription painkillers. If I divorce him, he will have joint custody of our children and, while I want them to know who their father is because they love him, I am terrified of what he might do to them as emotionally unstable as he is. I'm convinced he is capable of murder-suicide just to get at me.
He forces me to say "I love you" several times a day. I don't mean it anymore. He forces bodily contact. I sleep in a recliner in the den and put off going home from work to avoid him because I know the fight will be on when I get there.
I have never cheated on him, but I'm accused of it all the time. I have no privacy. He searches my purse, phone and car for "evidence" almost nightly. He takes checks from my private account and writes them without my consent. When I get overdrafts, he acts like it's my fault. If he spends money on the kids, he resents it -- and to complicate matters further, we filed for bankruptcy last year and are living in the house with my parents.
To be truthful, I'm scared to live with him by myself. I cringe every time I'm forced to be intimate with him, and I'm dying inside in little pieces. Please advise me. I would like to be sane and have a reasonably decent life for me and my kids before it's over. -- DESPERATE MOM IN COLORADO
DEAR ABBY: I am in an eight-year marriage that feels like a prison sentence. I have two children under the age of 5, and a husband who is mentally and emotionally unstable and has severe addiction to prescription painkillers. If I divorce him, he will have joint custody of our children and, while I want them to know who their father is because they love him, I am terrified of what he might do to them as emotionally unstable as he is. I'm convinced he is capable of murder-suicide just to get at me.
He forces me to say "I love you" several times a day. I don't mean it anymore. He forces bodily contact. I sleep in a recliner in the den and put off going home from work to avoid him because I know the fight will be on when I get there.
I have never cheated on him, but I'm accused of it all the time. I have no privacy. He searches my purse, phone and car for "evidence" almost nightly. He takes checks from my private account and writes them without my consent. When I get overdrafts, he acts like it's my fault. If he spends money on the kids, he resents it -- and to complicate matters further, we filed for bankruptcy last year and are living in the house with my parents.
To be truthful, I'm scared to live with him by myself. I cringe every time I'm forced to be intimate with him, and I'm dying inside in little pieces. Please advise me. I would like to be sane and have a reasonably decent life for me and my kids before it's over. -- DESPERATE MOM IN COLORADO
Dear Abby's response is below:
DEAR DESPERATE: You have your work cut out for you. First, talk to the police and go on record with the fact that your husband is a drug-addicted forger -- something you should also tell your bank, by the way -- and that you are afraid he will harm you or the children because of his instability due to his abuse of prescription medications.
Then inform the physician who has been prescribing the meds.
Tell your lawyer that you want to end your marriage, but that you are: (1) afraid he will harm you, (2) afraid he could harm the children, and (3) you would like him to have supervised visitation with them only because of his mental instability.
Fortunately, you are living in your parents' home -- which means you are not alone and vulnerable. But it's time to get your husband out of there. Your attorney can advise you on the safest way to accomplish that.
Reference:
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Man sexually tortures girlfriend
Note: The story below speaks for itself. These sorts of individuals are simply predators who use "relationships" to target vulnerable victims. Just because one knows or dates their perpetrator does not make the assault any less horrible - in fact, the betrayal of trust is worse than if a stranger had assaulted.
A 21-year-old man accused of tying up and torturing his girlfriend over a number of days, will appear in the Caboolture [Australia] Magistrates Court this morning.
During the ordeal the 19-year-old woman had her feet bound and was assaulted with a knife and the flat blade of a machete, burnt with a cigarette lighter and raped.
Police discovered the victim with injuries to her head and body after being called to a domestic disturbance at a Torrens Road house in Caboolture about 8:30 last night.
The 21-year-old man was charged with torture, rape, deprivation of liberty, assault occasioning bodily harm while armed and several other offences.
Reference:
Man charged with rape, torture
A 21-year-old man accused of tying up and torturing his girlfriend over a number of days, will appear in the Caboolture [Australia] Magistrates Court this morning.
During the ordeal the 19-year-old woman had her feet bound and was assaulted with a knife and the flat blade of a machete, burnt with a cigarette lighter and raped.
Police discovered the victim with injuries to her head and body after being called to a domestic disturbance at a Torrens Road house in Caboolture about 8:30 last night.
The 21-year-old man was charged with torture, rape, deprivation of liberty, assault occasioning bodily harm while armed and several other offences.
Reference:
Man charged with rape, torture
Woman, looking for drugs, raped
The story below describes the ordeal of a 25 year old woman allegedly raped October 12 after going to a house and buying drugs.
Four men were arrested later that day and charged with first-degree aggravated sexual assault. Lamar Grant, 25, of Plainfield, NJ, who escorted her to the attic of the alleged crackhouse, and the three attackers. Grant allegedly left her with the three men who actually assaulted her. The men, charged with first-degree aggravated assault are Grant's 20-year-old brother, Trevor, of 174 Mercer St.; Jaquan Battle, 19, also of 174 Mercer St.; and Kareem Davis, 25, of the first block of Bennett Street, Phillipsburg. All four defendants are being held in Warren County jail on $150,000 bail.
The woman said the three men sexually assaulted her in various ways.
"All I kept saying is I want to go home," she said. "They were saying, 'You're not going anywhere.' They tortured me for two hours."
She said she tried for a half-hour to get the three men to stop.
"Then I just let them do what they were going to do because I thought they would hurt me," she said. She usually went to the house with her boyfriend, but "he was in bed."
The victim says that the attack, as well as the loss of her children to the state Department of Yough and Family Services, has forced her to get control of her drug use.
"I still have nightmares that other people are hurting me."
She said she's also begun a fight to get her two children back. The state Division of Youth and Family Services put the children in foster care because of her drug use.
"These men said they're so innocent," the woman said. "But they're selling crack to people. They're taking mothers away from their kids, and they're feeding our addiction."
The mother said she plans to attend a long-term drug rehabilitation program.
"If they didn't do this to me, I would not be going to this program," she said. "This was a wake-up call."
Reference:
Attack Haunts Rape Victim
Four men were arrested later that day and charged with first-degree aggravated sexual assault. Lamar Grant, 25, of Plainfield, NJ, who escorted her to the attic of the alleged crackhouse, and the three attackers. Grant allegedly left her with the three men who actually assaulted her. The men, charged with first-degree aggravated assault are Grant's 20-year-old brother, Trevor, of 174 Mercer St.; Jaquan Battle, 19, also of 174 Mercer St.; and Kareem Davis, 25, of the first block of Bennett Street, Phillipsburg. All four defendants are being held in Warren County jail on $150,000 bail.
The woman said the three men sexually assaulted her in various ways.
"All I kept saying is I want to go home," she said. "They were saying, 'You're not going anywhere.' They tortured me for two hours."
She said she tried for a half-hour to get the three men to stop.
"Then I just let them do what they were going to do because I thought they would hurt me," she said. She usually went to the house with her boyfriend, but "he was in bed."
The victim says that the attack, as well as the loss of her children to the state Department of Yough and Family Services, has forced her to get control of her drug use.
"I still have nightmares that other people are hurting me."
She said she's also begun a fight to get her two children back. The state Division of Youth and Family Services put the children in foster care because of her drug use.
"These men said they're so innocent," the woman said. "But they're selling crack to people. They're taking mothers away from their kids, and they're feeding our addiction."
The mother said she plans to attend a long-term drug rehabilitation program.
"If they didn't do this to me, I would not be going to this program," she said. "This was a wake-up call."
Reference:
Attack Haunts Rape Victim
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